


Hold Me, I Still Need You.

by AlFair



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Actor Dean Winchester, Alternate Universe - Hollywood, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Emotional Hurt, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Famous Castiel (Supernatural), Famous Dean Winchester, Feelings, Flashbacks, Hospitals, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Mental Breakdown, Misunderstandings, Overdosing, POV Castiel (Supernatural), Singer Castiel (Supernatural), Touring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:47:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlFair/pseuds/AlFair
Summary: "I wanna get a divorce" he had texted.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 102





	Hold Me, I Still Need You.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this, feel free to comment and give me a Kudo!  
> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> xx Al.

__

_"Castiel, Castiel, Castiel-"_

The loud crowd made his heart ache even more and his nervousness hit red, they were 20.000+ people out there, and Cas was drugged with so many Xanaxes and 3 energy drinks that made everything blurry. He could pass out any moment.

 _"I wanna get a divorce"_ he had texted.

Fucking Dean Winchester, _how could he do this to me?_

He knew things were a little off lately but they always found ways to get through this. They always found each other, they were in love. _Well_ , at least Cas still is. But the anger and the hurt make him hate every single inch of that piece of garbage he called a husband, especially today. 

Castiel knew Dean was a good actor, he did have a Golden Globe, but did he really acted all those 3 years they were together as a married couple? And the 5 before when they were Hollywood's, young famous sweethearts?

 _This was bad,_ how could he do this to Castiel? he was on tour goddamnit! His biggest album was no.1 in 70+ countries and his worldwide tour is one of the best selling tours in history.

He didn't need this heartbreaking information, it was too much. He couldn't perform under this pain. Did Dean do that on purpose? Who sends a text like that before someone's big night? Castiel felt numb thinking about his husband. _Ex-husband._

The thing that hurt the most however was a week before he left on tour Dean took him on a date and told him how much he loved him, how proud he was, and how he'll miss him. They talked very little on the phone as Cas was busy with rehearsals, and Dean was about to start filming for a new major picture motion but he knew they were okay.

_Guess he was wrong._

Then out of nowhere, just a few minutes before he was about to enjoy his night, perform in front of Manchester, his whole world collapsed. Castiel tried to reach Dean but the bastard didn't return his calls.

His eyes watered but he wouldn't cry and mess his black underliner, it hurt yes, and he wanted to scream in frustration, rage, and pain but he couldn't disappoint his fans. He worked hard to be here.

His mic was slippery between his fingers as they were coated with cold sweat, the rings on his digits felt too tight, _his wedding ring. God,_ Castiel wanted to throw it, but he just couldn't move.

The whole AO Arena of Manchester was screaming and cheering happily at the one and only, Castiel.

The blue-eyed superstar, Gay icon, and heartthrob of the Music Industry, Bisexual, and married to one of the most famous and hottest action movie actors in Hollywood. Dean Winchester. 

Replaying his name in his mind was a torment so Castiel took a deep breath.

"Cassy, love, I know everything is shit right now, but we need to start, the Intro track is almost finished! Do you have your earpiece on?" Balthazar came running towards him, his schedule placed tight under his armpit and his headpiece on power so he could communicate with the team.

Castiel almost collapsed, he took a shaky breath and nodded, he stood strong and took place on the lift that would elevate him to one of the biggest stage arenas of the UK. 

_Just sing, dance, and lose yourself in music,_ his consciousness told him.

Nodding Castiel took one more breath, his heart almost ripping from his ribcage as the first introduction of the first track of the tracklist started to play, the band was already killing it. 

_"Castiel, Castiel, Castiel-"_

Just sing.

 _"Castiel, Castiel, Castiel-"_ _  
_

Don't show how heartbroken you are.

_"Castiel, Castiel, Castiel-"  
_

Put on a happy face.

The crowd went wild when he jumped on stage with a huge smile, the lights were blinding and they were some fireworks welcoming him that went with the beat of the song. Castiel glanced at his band and smiled again, putting an act that obviously no one would notice.

"Hello, Manchester! Thank you for having me!" he shouted through his mic with a fake excited smile, Castiel was emotionally dead tonight. But people, _his fans_ , came to enjoy him and paid to see a show. He will give them a show.

"Let me hear you sing!" 

* * *

Castiel felt numb, he sang his heart off and danced with all of his mental and physical power. It was one of the most stressful performances, his feelings and emotions were pushed so deep on the back of his mind and gut, the multi-awarded star didn't notice the room spinning.

_"Marry me..." Dean whispered, his lips touching his temple as they slowly danced in Dean's living room. They were living together for almost half a year._

_Castiel's heart dropped in the best possible way, his lips parted in surprise as he lifted his face to glance at the green-eyed man. Dean was smiling softly, his arms around him tightening and bringing him incredibly close_.

_"W-What?" he whispered back, still not believing his ears, Dean's handsome face softened even more as he pulled away from Castiel, seconds later he was on his one knee holding a thick silver band ring with a three-piece small blue diamonds._

_"Castiel Charles Novak, please be mine forever..."_

_Castiel felt his eyes burn from tears, he didn't say anything except crushing into Dean's warm embrace. Dean wrapped his arms around his waist as they fell backward. Castiel kissed Dean everywhere, all over his face, eyes, cheeks, nose, and then he pushed his lips against those gorgeous plump lips he never got tired of._

_"I hope that's a yes!" Dean mumbled chuckling between kisses._

_"Yes, yes, yes!" Castiel nuzzled Dean's neck, and then somehow they lied on the floor, Castiel's face buried in Dean's neck, as the green-eyed actor played with his ringed finger, kissing his knuckles here and there._

_"I love you..."_

_"Me too, angel, so much..."_

"Call an ambulance! Now!" Castiel heard shouting and muffled voices, but everything was still blurry and his vision started to get foggier. His head was about to blow up. It was like someone was hammering his brain.

_"Come on, don't be nervous..." Dean said holding his hand tighter._

_They were ready to walk the red carpet of Dean's new major picture premiere 'Supernatural: Leviathan.' It was their first public appearance after their wedding announcement. Castiel hated red carpets, and interviews but he couldn't do anything about it, Showbiz honey!_

_But he also wanted to support Dean, this movie was huge, like 'Avengers: Infinity War' huge. Dean worked so hard and Castiel couldn't be more proud of his future husband. The man was talent on legs, well, sex too, oh what the hell ,perfection really._

_"I'm not..." Castiel grimaced a smile._

_Dean looked at him deeply, obviously understanding Castiel's lie. The green-eyed actor kissed his knuckles and then the ringed finger._

_"I love you."_

_"I love you too, come on, they waiting for you!" Cas took a deep breath._

_"Together." Dean pulled him into a kiss and winked a sexy smile._

_When they got out of the car, flashes and cheers were met and Castiel almost groaned but he put on a fake smile and held Dean's hand tighter._

_His fiance was gorgeous as hell with his dark red Gucci custom tuxedo and that black dress shirt, that wasn't supposed to be two buttons open, revealing a toned chest. Castiel wore himself a custom Gucci C-thru dress shirt, making his tattoos and chest visible, completed with black slacks, and a black velvet open suit jacket._

_Castiel didn't like boring looks, he as a music artist had proved that with his wild appearances, this time his hair was dyed dirty blond and he had custom 'Azuro Republic' jewelry from rings to his earpieces._

_Letting out a shaky breath that probably no one noticed, he and Dean posed to the cameras, the crowd went wild with them, especially Dean, the star of the evening._

_Castiel always posed serious, and confident, (even though he didn't feel it at all sometimes.) His face stone still as he looked around, he heard some 'i Love yous' and some fans screaming his name but he was focused on Dean and the cameras._

_His almost-husband looked like he was born to do this. Smiling easy and looking sexy and gorgeous. Castiel knew he was a charmer too but damn, Dean was a natural._

_Dean then wrapped his arm around Castiel's waist and they smiled at the paparazzi, like feeling Castiel's stiffness, Dean pulled him closer and kissed his cheek, screams erupted and the blue-eyed artist choked a laugh._

_"You're gorgeous..." Dean looked at him pulling him even closer._

_Castiel relaxed immediately and let go of his nerves, leaning over Dean's ear he said: "I can wait to go back to our hotel and fuck till morning, especially now that I will see you slaying some demons."_

_Dean fake laughed to the cameras as Castiel told something funny, but he knew he turned Dean on so bad, his arm around him tightened even more._

_"Babe, you're killing me..." he whispered back, and Castiel broke his stone facade and smiled widely to the photographers that screamed to shoot them._

Castiel tried to keep his eyes open, the white light of the hallway on the way to the dressing rooms was loud and paramedics were checking him up, he was laying in something soft. Before he knew it, he was shaking, he felt so cold and hot at the same time, Balthazar was holding his hand and he could almost hear his panicked English accent shouting something to the others.

Then he heard the voice, he tried so much to hate. The voice of the person who got him in this situation, _Oh, Lord,_ Castiel felt that this was the end, little more and he'll die.

"Get out my way! He's my husband." 

Suddenly Castiel saw the face he so much loved, his handsome features now hard as he bend down to Castiel, his big palms hugging his face.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Dean demanded, his voice shaky.

"Cas babe, what's wrong? stay with me!" It was kinda funny, and if he didn't feel like was about to pass out, Castiel would have laughed super hard. It was unbelievable! _The fucking liar!_

 _How dare he come here?_ Why the hell he is here? After what he did, After the way he ruined Castiel's heart, taking decisions by himself and not returning Castiel's pleas.

"He had too many antidepressants and some other shit to keep him up to perform! It's your fucking fault asshole! How could you text him about a divorce seconds before his grand opening!"

" _W-What?_ , I didn't text him _shit_! I lost my phone at the airport on my way here! I came from the US here to surprise him!"

That was the last thing Castiel heard before he blacked out.

Castiel opened his eyes, it was dark and his mouth was sour and dry. The blue-eyed star tried to gulp but it was too hard, it felt like he vomited at least twenty times. Adjusting his blurry eyes to the room he was in, Castiel's heart almost dropped when he noticed the hospital room with the nursery equipment and the beeping EKG next to him, his arm stitched intravenously.

Castiel shivered as he couldn't remember anything except--

And then it hit, everything that happened that night, his almost overdose, and then _that text._

The music artist felt his heartbeat quicken, and then he stopped when he noticed a head resting in his lap groaning and moving.

Castiel pushed himself to get up and sit into a sitting position, the man in front of him whispered a croaked _'Cas'_

_Dean._

Dean got up quickly and walked towards the light switch, Castiel was met with tired red-rimmed green eyes, and his heart almost dropped once again. Dean had dark circles under his eyes and a thick beard as he got close to Cas melting to the chair next to the bed and pushing his head into Castiel's lap.

Grabbing his hands in his, Dean sobs silently.

"You scared me to death..." Dean choked tightening his hands on Castiel's.

Castiel closed his eyes, he couldn't understand... and he wanted to _cry_ and _hate_ Dean, wasn't he supposed to be somewhere else? Why was he here? It pained him so much to see his husband like this though.

 _Husband_.

"You really want a divorce? " Castiel choked hoarsely, the first tears after that nightmarish night finally rolled down his cheeks.

Dean instantly lifted his head up, tears were around his gorgeous green eyes, Castiel almost turned away, he couldn't look at Dean, especially like this, Dean never cried, even in his father's funeral he didn't let out a single tear.

"Are you out of your damn mind?" His husband almost yelled, his furious expression made Castiel wince and trail his eyes towards his lap, where their hands were still intertwined.

"D-Dean you texte-"

"I lost my damn phone at the airport, I was coming to _you_! To _surprise_ you, I knew things were a little odd between us, but I fucking _missed_ you, and I _needed_ to see you..." 

_Oh._

"You didn't text me that?" Castiel's voice was so small, the tears and the realization rolling down his whole body.

Dean's face softened as he brought his lips on Castiel's fingers.

"You ain't getting me rid that easily, you're stuck with me, Castiel Winchester..."

Castiel's heart pounded in his chest. "I almost believed it you know..." he admitted.

Dean's voice went very soft. "Well, you shouldn't, whoever did it, is a sick sonovabitch..."

"You love me, right?"

"Yes, baby so, _so much._ " There's no hesitation in Dean's answer, never been any.

Castiel couldn't believe he ever thought Dean was over him, they both loved each other too much, Castiel couldn't live without Dean and vise versa. _They were soulmates._

"Never do that again..."

Dean leaned in and Castiel met him halfway, pressing their lips together in a close-mouthed kiss.

"I'm sorry I overreacted..." 

Castiel felt really shitty right now, not only he put himself in danger but Dean was hurt and worried for him because of _him_. 

"No, no, don't blame yourself, I myself probably would react worse..."

Castiel, shook his head, "Please come here and hold me..." the blue-eyed man whispered hoarsely opening his arms.

_He needed Dean, he missed him so much..._

Dean smiled softly and climbed into the bed, into Castiel's arms, burying his face in his neck and wrapping his arms around him tightly. Castiel relaxed instantly at Dean's solid weight, and comforting scent he so much loved.

Dean kissed his way across his brow. "Sleep, my love, we'll talk in the morning..."

Castiel took a deep breath, sinking into the pillows and his husband's warmth. "Dean. What on earth would I do without you?"

"You'll never have to find out." Dean's kiss was warm on his temple.


End file.
